Loneliness Because Of Difference-What If Fingers Were Equal?

 Loneliness Because Of Difference-What If Fingers Were Equal?

        Hello ladies and gentlemen, this writing’s topic is a bit melancholic. So, you can brew yourself a coffee or tea. Or maybe you can take one of any beverages you drink when you’re not in your mood. Are you ready? Okay then, let’s start.

First, let me give some basic information about our path. It will look like a cheeseburger. On the top as bun, first part, we’ll try to dig down the term “loneliness” and “individual differences”. Then, here comes the burger about why we are different from one another. As final, we conclude with the bottom bun, which is the rest of the article. If we settle down, let’s start.

Loneliness… A term which we’re using when we can’t define enough to tell other people about what we’re feeling at that moment. But in general, it refers to feeling separated from others, doesn’t it? It doesn’t matter which situation we’re in, maybe we think we’re doing things differently from others or we don’t feel like the others mentally or physically. To sum up, this takes us to “individual differences”. Sounds similar? I think so…

We know we can sometimes feel separated from others because of the divergences. In a case like this, should we change ourselves? Is being different futile? Should we really act and think like the others? Maybe if we think and act like them, this might create an opportunity for connection, who knows? But really, who knows?

Let’s think in a metaphorical way. Open your hand and look at your fingers. They all look different as you can see. Now let’s assume that you have fingers which are equal by length and width. Now imagine a thing you want to grab, maybe a phone, or maybe one of your favorite fruits. For this case let’s assume we want to grab a mandarin. Just try to grab the mandarin with your brand-new equalized fingers. It’s impossible to grab the mandarin fully, am I right? What if you had your old fingers which are different from each other? You could grab the mandarin of course, right? This means you can grab the mandarin because each of your fingers are different from others. In other words, what if our individual differences are not futile?

If we want an answer for the necessity of differences, here’s a question worth to thinking. What if the term “development” is a result of these individual differences? Let’s look at some of our friends’ experiences who has huge impact in our world, shall we? The father of gravity Newton was different obviously. Because I’m sure there could have been many others who were hit by an apple on their head. But no one else thought about the reason why. Another friend Galileo, yes! He was different too. In fact, because of his divergence, he passed away, right? Or Marie Curie, she was different from other women as well. And I’m sure they all felt lonely from time to time because there were no one like them in those days. Maybe they couldn’t find someone to share their thoughts either.

I’m sure you heard the quote “everyone is unique”, right? But why? We can see not everyone is Socrates or Aristotle. Then, how can everyone be unique? What makes everyone, even us, unique in this world? The exclusiveness we have is hidden among our differentiations. We are unique because there is not a second “us” in the whole world. And there won’t be either. Everyone is unique because of they have their own ways. Imagine two people have the exact same problem at the same time. Assume that they don’t know each other. When they both solve their problems, there will occur two different solutions for the same problem. This will be because of their uniqueness, their different viewpoints, lifestyles and maybe personalities.

If we knew that our loneliness is based on our uniqueness, would we still feel negative about our loneliness? Sometimes a tree should lose one of its branches to make a new chair, desk etc. This means sometimes you should face with the negative emotions to gain more power and knowledge. There’s a saying, bad times make great people. Maybe to climb to the top you must lose your load. And believe me our biggest loads maybe the bad feelings we choose to un-feel. Do you think loneliness we refuse and scare to feel is one of those loads?

Ömer Faruk Acar

For equal thumb thanks to Betül Öztürk

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